Where Desire Comes from

Bar Pa Tea April 29, 2019

If I get everything I want, I would cease to exist, because the idea of me would no longer be necessary. If everything I want is already part of me, I would be the whole. As there would be no more desire, I wouldn’t need to talk or write. Paradoxically, in that state, the idea of owning something is meaningless as there is no subject that can own something.

That is: to have everything is the same as to want nothing.

When I was in my mother’s womb, I was in that state. I had everything, so I wanted nothing. In fact, I didn’t exist then. I had no need to know who I am or what anything else is, where I started or ended.

That is: I was dead.

And, I did not come to exist immediately after birth. It was a slow, gradual process. The idea of me was imposed on me by the world around me. I didn’t figure out who I am; it was taught to me. It wasn’t just my name; I was taught how to define myself within the context I was born into. It’s this definition that created my desires. They didn’t originate in the baby in my mother’s womb; they came from the society.

One day, I will once again disconnect from the society and return to that state where I want nothing because I have everything.