Cynicism: A Hopeless Contempt

I’ve known someone who has been cynical toward me since my college days. He loves to roll his eyes; I never understood why. Perhaps I remind him of someone from his childhood he hates. Cynical people love sarcasm, but the two concepts are distinct. Sarcasm is simply a stylistic choice, where you say the opposite of what you mean. My Japanese friend once told me sarcasm is rare in Japan. While I find it hard to agree entirely, I defer to her opinion since she is a more real Japanese. It’s conceivable that certain stylistic choices are uncommon in some cultures or languages, but I’m convinced that cynicism exists everywhere. It’s more fundamental than sarcasm; it represents a particular orientation toward life.

At its core, cynicism is a defense mechanism. Imagine a child growing up under authoritarian parents. Even if he disagrees with them, he has no choice but to obey. This lack of agency can lead to a kind of learned helplessness. His true feelings may be suppressed, but they don’t simply disappear. To manage them, he might adopt a consistently negative view of the world, lowering his expectations to protect himself from disappointment or depression.

Cynicism doesn’t have to dominate our entire worldview. We can develop a cynical attitude toward specific objects, such as a person, business, government, institution, or system, especially if we feel powerless to change their perceived flaws. In other words, cynicism is a helpless feeling of contempt directed at something or someone. For instance, if you believe you can’t express yourself clearly enough to be understood, you might roll your eyes as a preemptive defense against rejection.

This isn’t to say there is no truth to cynicism. There are plenty of reasons to feel hopeless in this world. If you haven’t developed a cynical worldview, perhaps you were fortunate or simply naive. However, we can hopefully catch ourselves feeling cynical so that we can at least consciously choose to be cynical to regain the sense of agency we once lost.