The pandemic doesn’t seem to want to end, and food blogging isn’t so fun when we can’t freely and safely go out. I’ve decided it’s time to change things around a bit.
Despite my autistic tendencies, I generally do not stick to one thing for a long time. During my years at the School of Visual Arts, I switched the medium frequently. In my freshman year, I made photo-realistic paintings and drawings. My sophomore year was all about Minimalism. I made a point of producing as little physical work as possible in my junior year because I was drawn to conceptual art. During my final year, I produced cartoons.
One of the teachers liked me and gave me a room in the school gallery to show my work. Since cartoons are reproducible, I figured I’d hand out copies to everyone who came. My friend @jonahfwd suggested that I should just stick a Xerox machine in the room. So, that’s what I did; an empty room with a Xerox machine in the middle. People would come in and press “Copy” and take my work home. “Charlie the Psycho-Yuppie” was my recurring character.
After college, I never pursued visual art. I was technically talented, but my heart was not in it. In some ways, you are better off having no talent for your passion because your desire to master the craft can keep you motivated. If you are really untalented, soon enough, you’d give up trying to master the craft. And, that’s a good thing because an objectively measurable quality (like talent for math, great voice, and physical beauty) can function as a psychological crutch and conceal who you are from yourself.
We cannot define ourselves in positive terms. As soon as we think we captured the essence in words, we realize how much falls through the cracks. In life, we have no choice but to muddle through to get to know ourselves. “Oh, that’s not me.” “I thought I’d enjoy this, but I don’t.”
In fact, it would be a terrifying experience to have a complete, absolute definition of ourselves, where we have no more to discover. Change for change’s sake is a good way to explore the endless dimensions of ourselves.
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