Shifting Gender Dynamics in Japan

Gender differences manifest uniquely in Japan. My mother often mentions her friends lamenting—half-jokingly—the uselessness of their sons. Traditionally, the eldest son was tasked with caring for his parents in their old age and, as a result, inherited family assets. His wife would join his household, meaning her own parents might not receive similar care unless they had a son of their own.

In recent decades, this arrangement has reversed. Today, married couples often settle closer to the wife’s parents. Since women typically pursue careers, proximity to their parents facilitates childcare. Given that most families have only one child, parents with only a son face the prospect of lacking support in their old age.

According to one study, in 1982, 80% of men and 60% of women preferred having a boy. By 2002, those numbers had shifted to 53% of men and 70% of women preferring a girl. Over coffee, a childhood friend affirmed this observation, sharing that he, too, spends New Year’s Eve and the first three days of January with his wife’s family.

Women still occupy a small percentage of leadership roles in Japan, but such positions are less valorized compared to the West. For example, the pay ratio between CEOs and employees at major Japanese corporations is roughly 12:1, contrasting starkly with the U.S. ratio of 344:1. The Japanese proverb “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down” applies here: Japan’s highly socialistic culture does not glorify the super-rich, and climbing the corporate ladder is often associated with stress rather than wealth or status. As feminists in the U.S. rarely focus on the gender ratio of garbage collectors, Japan may not prioritize leadership roles as a critical measure of gender equality.

Even during my upbringing in Japan, women were as likely to approach men as vice versa, unlike the more passive dynamic often observed among American women. A crucial component of objectification is the absence of agency. If personal happiness could be quantified accurately, it might reveal that Japanese women fare better overall than American women. After all, most parents prioritize their children’s happiness over their own.