My Coronavirus Advice

I’d like to jump on the latest social media trend and share my coronavirus advice. #coronaadvicetuesday

I’ve been practically quarantined for 10 years because I work from home. The last time I had an office was about a decade ago. It just doesn’t make sense anymore since nobody wants to meet in person. Here is how you can spend your time in quarantine.

You only need two sets of clothes: one for outside and the other for inside. Because you rarely go outside, and because the clothes for the inside stay clean as long as your home is clean, you wouldn’t need to wash them for weeks, especially if you are East Asian (just Google why East Asians don’t need deodorant). When you come home from outside, pull down your pants, take off your socks and shoes in one swift motion, and leave them by the door like firefighters do.

On your computer, install WhatsApp, Skype, Slack, and Hangout. On your smartphone, you should have Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Plus regular text and email should be more than enough for your socializing needs. In fact, you might get sick of people. I recommend buying an operator-style headset with a mic. You can talk for hours comfortably while sipping on craft beer.

Some people claim they need to see nature periodically for their mental health. I would recommend getting a large retina display, like the 27-inch iMac. You would be able to instantly transport yourself anywhere in the world by browsing through Google Maps.

You might say looking at photos is not the same as being there. It’s true; on your 5K monitor, you wouldn’t get ticks, mosquitos, rain, heat, humidity, sunburn, or injuries. Let’s face it; the whole point of going to exotic places is to share the photos on Instagram. In the end, it’s all about the photos anyway.

The only rational reason for going outside is food because you cannot eat anything off of a computer screen. Every time you step out, make it count. I recommend getting super-high-quality ingredients and cooking them at home, which is what I did in the picture above.

This is how I’ve been living for the last ten years. With the coronavirus on its way, you too might be able to live this digital dream.