Procrastination

Randy and Julie brought this mezcal to our dinner and made this cocktail using watermelon juice and ginger beer. It was so good that I practically chugged it down in one go. I don’t drink cocktails often for that reason. They go down too easily.

I only eat one meal a day, dinner. My friends tell me I’m disciplined and that they couldn’t do it. But one of the reasons I only eat once a day is that I have a problem stopping once I start eating. I’m actually not sure how people torture themselves 3 times a day by stopping in the middle of a foreplay. It seems to me that they are more self-disciplined than I am. I look at people who take a few bites of ice cream and stop; I have to wonder how they do it! After eating half a pint, I still struggle with putting the lid on it.

This may sound odd but as long as I don’t start eating, I don’t have a problem controlling my craving. In fact the craving doesn’t even arise until the first bite. You can eat anything in front of me when I’m hungry and it wouldn’t bother me. Hunger for me is easy to control. I can pretty much ignore it. But once I take a bite, I can’t stop.

I think this is related to the concept of “flow” where you are so absorbed in the activity that you lose sense of space and time. You just want to keep going. I experience it so intensely that I have to be strategic about when to get in the zone and for what.

I often stay home when my wife and daughter go on vacation because, if I’m alone at home, I can get into this flow state without worrying about stopping in the middle. I would rather not start something if there is a good chance that I would have to stop in the middle because the experience of stopping is unpleasant and frustrating for me.

Procrastination is a different state where you pay attention to whatever seems most interesting at any given moment. Your attention shifts from one thing to the next, so, it’s easy to stop. In a flow state, you are singularly focused. I would rather be procrastinating than to start a flow state that I might have to stop in the middle of. It’s like how boxers keep bouncing while waiting for the moment to strike. Procrastination too has an important purpose.