The older I get, the less I care about friendship. What is interesting to me is our urge to define “friendship” or “friends”. Why do we want “friends” and why does this categorization matter to us? Why do we want to differentiate “friends” from those who are not? In my 20s, I cared a great deal too. Now I find it ironic. Just like the desire for “peace” is what incites “war”, our desire for “friends” is what induces loneliness, which in turn makes us crave for “friends” more.
So, one way to solve this problem is to stop categorizing and ranking friends. This is a good example of how language creates unnecessary problems. Thinking is the wrong tool for solving many of the problems we encounter in life. Not only that, in many cases, thinking is their cause. You cannot solve the problem of friendship by thinking; it creates the problem.
We walk funny if we start thinking about how we walk. When we start thinking about “friends,” we start acting funny in front of them.